


On the Twelfth Year of Christmas

by Tenderisthenight



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, M/M, Secret Santa, and all other rarepair shippers tbh i know we are all starved for content, and my friend who ships rarepairs all her life this is a gift for you, i think???, side!bangjae, though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 14:16:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13125423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tenderisthenight/pseuds/Tenderisthenight
Summary: On the Twelfth year of Christmas Junhong asked Santa to let him be with his crush of twelve years.





	On the Twelfth Year of Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I wrote this last year so this is totally last year b.a.p. You'll get it when you read it cause it involved the Idol Battle Likes that happened last year. I wrote this impulsively last Christmas as a gift for a friend but it wasn't finished so I couldn't post it since Christmas passed and I can't just Post It Not On Christmas, you know. So you get it a year later instead, hah! Enjoy!

Junhong remembers the mole under one eye really well.

It’s the only thing he remembers well because the person who owns the mole under one eye is the person who moved to Seoul years ago. And it left Junhong a little too lonely in his hometown, forever hanging onto a silly crush that developed when he barely knew what a crush was. Back when he barely knew how it feels like to like someone with all his heart.

So when he went to college, on his first day and watched a welcoming performance from the performance art club, he remembers the mole under one eye really well.

It helped that the performance was a small one, right there blocking Junhong’s path to his dorm because that was the point; they were trying to gain attention from the freshmen to enter their club.

And Junhong recognized the mole under one eye, the guy who was running around and singing something Junhong thinks is from Les Miserables, and he realized he has a crush on the guy hanging on the branch of a tree once he came to his finale.

“You enrolled in this college, because you’ve been searching for your childhood crush? Man, that’s kinda creepy, have you ever thought of how creepy that is?”

Junhong confessed to his first friend in class, Jongup, that he enrolled in the college only because it offers the course he wanted but mainly because he knows his childhood crush is studying there after he accidentally—more like deliberately because he looked for it—found his crush’s Facebook. He never friended his crush. Junhong isn’t memorable and maybe he won’t even be approved.

“So have you found him?”

Junhong has buried his face in his arms. Jongup has been holding a flyer in his hands.

“You’re holding the flyer to the performance art club. He sings in the club and I want to join.”

Jongup had laughed. “So you want to enter this club together?”

Junhong might have said yes a little too loud people in the cafeteria have turned their heads to look at him. Jongup was a little doubtful.

“What can you do?”

“I dance.”

“You never told me you dance?”

And it was just like that, they both dragged themselves to the club room for the audition. Jongup passed, and Junhong did too, albeit him being nervous because a certain someone was sitting in the back, playing with his phone and Junhong knows he’s not memorable, or noticeable, his crush barely looked up from his phone.

“It’s really just a small club.” Bang Yongguk, the president has said. “But we’re only a group of friends wanting to do creative things together. Quality over quantity, right?”

And a loud member named Himchan had practically yelled his agreement.

Jongup and Junhong were welcomed warmly. It was a short celebration with the seniors, because they had classes and Junhong kept his head down as he walked out of the room.

“Hey, have we met before?”

When Junhong looked at him properly for the first time after years, he still has that one mole under his eye. He looked so much better than when he was young, when he had sauces at the corner of his lips, the shirt he wore always dirty and it always had his mother nagging him.

“Daehyun Sunbae.”

Junhong visited a restaurant in his hometown a lot with his family because his parents both worked. And it was convenient to have meals there a lot rather than have his mother cook when she was too tired.

The restaurant was run by a family, and they have a son who ran around in the restaurant while his parents worked hard.

“Hi, I’m Daehyun.” Daehyun had said when they first met in which he had climbed on the empty chair at Junhong’s table, a mole under his eye distracting Junhong’s attention.

“I’m Junhong.”

And swiftly, Daehyun was taken away by his mother. The woman nagged at her son for eating customer’s food and disturbing them, apologizing profusely to Junhong’s mother while Junhong’s mother assured her it was okay; they were only kids.

Junhong had looked down his plate and realized a piece of chicken was missing.

The very same eyes widened when they met in college years later.

“Junhong?!” Daehyun had exclaimed, his reaction was way more excited that Junhong had ever expected and anticipated. “Junhong, like Little Junhong?! Wow, you’ve grown so much!”

Junhong stood frozen when Daehyun patted his head. A habit from years ago, Junhong remembers.

_“Thanks for the chicken, Junnie.”_

“I never thought I would meet you in Seoul!”

It was then, Youngjae, Daehyun’s close Seoul friend apparently, dragged Daehyun away because they were late for their Sociology class.

“It was nice seeing you again!” Daehyun had shouted as he ran into the hallway.

Junhong watched him go with his heart hammering in his chest.

His dream came true. Daehyun, the boy with the mole under one eye remembered him.

 

 

 

 

The club proved to be better than Junhong had expected. Well, considering he only joined because he knew Daehyun’s in it. They became a close, tight knit group in the first semester alone, and Jongup became especially chummy with the vice president, Kim Himchan.

Junhong on the other hand, tried his best to fit in, and he did, only because the members were warm and welcoming, and Daehyun, was kind too.

But he doesn’t think he can ever be close to Daehyun.

“You know, I’m thinking like since we gotta rehearse for this musical, why not hold a small party after that? It’ll be Christmas Eve after all.” Himchan says on a Thursday. They are discussing a musical to be performed right after New Year’s, and that meant rehearsals have to be done every day, including on Christmas Eve.

“You only want to have fun.” Yongguk comments, sitting with his legs crossed. He’s taking the musical seriously, the director, after all.

Himchan pouts a little. “Not _that_ kind of party. Just a small one, just us. We’re working too hard, I thought this club’s objective was to have fun in the first place?”

“A small party sounds fun.” Youngjae joins in. He looks up when all of them looked at him and, avoids their stares. “We can eat cakes or something, do secret Santa or some shit, I don’t know.”

“Secret Santa!” Daehyun suddenly exclaims putting down his script and Yongguk looks at him intently. “That’s a great idea! We get to give people presents!”

“You just want a present, Daehyun.” Youngjae quips, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, but everyone gets one, right?”

Junhong wants to give Daehyun a gift. He wants to give Daehyun everything.

And so it happens. Himchan makes Youngjae tear a paper from his notebook, and Jongup writes their names down on the pieces of paper that Yongguk cuts up, a little hesitantly but Himchan keeps pestering him to cut faster.

When the papers were all folded, rolled, crumpled and everything Himchan could do to the papers, he throws them into Jongup’s cap and makes everyone take one out.

Junhong takes one, and he sees Daehyun smiling at him. He hopes he gets Daehyun’s. He wants to buy Daehyun a gift for Christmas, and maybe then he can tell Daehyun he likes him.

Himchan laughs when he sees the name on his paper. Yongguk tries to peek but he quickly puts it away into the pocket of his coat.

Junhong unfolds his paper, Jongup who’s beside him is sighing at the name on his paper.

He hopes it’s Daehyun.

He hopes it’s the man he’s been missing ever since he moved years ago.

Because when Daehyun and his family moved, Junhong never said goodbye. Somehow at such a young age, Junhong thought that they would meet again. It shouldn’t have been a big deal, Junhong remembers thinking that. So his final goodbye to Daehyun was after a dinner at the restaurant. Daehyun who had made it a habit to eat a portion of his meals despite his own mother’s nagging, didn’t take anything that night.

“I’m moving, Junnie.”

Junhong had looked up at the older. “Where are you going?”

“Seoul!” Daehyun had grinned widely, with his tooth missing. “Mom and dad said Seoul’s great, I can’t wait.”

Junhong said he couldn’t wait too. He thinks he was sad when he knew about it. But he was a kid and he did not really understand how much it can affect him to miss someone you like so much.

So the restaurant closed down. The shop was empty for a good year before a stationery shop took place there. And Junhong, throughout middle school bought his pens and rulers there and thought; _this place used to be a restaurant._

The place that used to have tables and chairs everywhere, and a certain boy running around taking food as he pleased from nice customers. Junhong lived through the years without Daehyun in the shop that had shelves of colourful pens, that he scribbled with aimlessly on a piece of paper to test the pens on.

He knows he came back there a lot just because it brought back the memories.

Looking through the color markers he knows that if he ever meets Daehyun he would tell Daehyun how much he likes him.

So before he reads the name for the secret Santa thing they have going on, he hopes it’s Daehyun.

And it’s

 

Yongguk.

He refolds the paper. Jongup looks at him.

“Who did you get?” Jongup whispers to him, as the others gathered their things and started to leave.

Junhong tries hard to not show that he’s disappointed. Yongguk’s a great senior, in fact they had sat down just the two of them together before to discuss on their similar interests in music. Yongguk said he liked Junhong’s enthusiasm, and wished they had met sooner.

“Is it Daehyun?” Jongup asks.

Junhong looks up at Daehyun laughing with Himchan. Himchan hits him with his Linguistic textbook. Junhong tries hard not to be disappointed.

Junhong’s really disappointed.

“No.” He looks at Jongup hopefully. “Who did you get?”

Jongup scoots closer, and whispers. “Youngjae.”

“Oh.” Junhong for some reason thought he might have gotten Daehyun. Then maybe they could have exchanged.

“But I peeked at Youngjae’s. He got Daehyun. Maybe you can exchange it with him?”

Junhong looks at him incredulously. Jongup knows how intimidated Junhong is by Youngjae.  Jongup shrugs. Youngjae’s a great friend, he’s enthusiastic about a lot of things, including bubble teas, but whenever it’s just Junhong and him working on the props for the musical it gets a lot quieter than normal.

Junhong thinks it’s mostly him, being silent and all.

And it’s also Youngjae being close to Daehyun. They’re inseparable, they take classes together and are roommates. Junhong thinks if Daehyun was to like someone it would probably be Youngjae.

He’s good looking and a lot of people like him after all. Junhong thinks he’s really bright and he brightens any atmosphere. He remembers Yongguk once muttered under his breath how cute Youngjae was when they were dancing at Daehyun’s singing one time. It made him wonder if anyone would say the same watching Junhong dance.

And that makes it harder for Junhong to approach Daehyun, because Youngjae’s always there. Like a Repel or something. (Jongup mentioned that Junhong’s like a wild Pokemon wanting to attack Daehyun – Junhong disagreed with the word choice but Jongup shut him up—and Youngjae’s that one item called Repel™ that makes all the wild pokemons go away.)

It also doesn’t help that before Junhong can even work up the courage to approach the handsome senior he would then already be dragged away by Himchan and Jongup, and sometimes Yongguk.

He talks to Daehyun, yes he does, but it’s never much. Just casual conversations every now and then. Daehyun asking him how he has been over the years ( _How have you been? Oh, yeah it has been long since we’ve last met isn’t it? Man, we were such small kids back then_.) and then he just keeps on marvelling at how much Junhong has grown ( _You’ve grown so tall. What did you eat once our restaurant closed down?_ ).

As if he hasn’t grown himself.

Junhong thinks he has grown so much handsomer. So likeable by everyone.

“Let’s wear costumes.” Himchan says. “It’ll be Christmas Eve so let’s make the rehearsal Christmasy!”

“I’m not becoming the Santa.” Yongguk suddenly mutters.

Himchan stands from his chair. “Yongguk is Santa. Santa is taken. You guys can dress up as something else.”

Yongguk gives him a look and Himchan smiles at him. Yongguk whines at Himchan and the others just laugh.

If Yongguk is Santa Junhong doesn’t know if he should even buy a present for Yongguk, Junhong finds himself thinking. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

“Best costume gets treated by everyone else to meat!” Himchan shouts.

“Oh yes!” Daehyun whoops. “Himchan’s treat!”

This time Yongguk laughs at Himchan as Himchan tries to get everyone to chip in for the treat, but Youngjae shuts him up, urging for him to resign to the decision. Himchan agrees despite being a little upset about it. Yongguk pats his back for comfort.

Junhong doesn’t even get Daehyun for secret Santa, and now he has to wear a costume. He doesn’t know what he should wear. He’s not a costume person. He wonders if Daehyun is. He seems like he is.

“Hey, Youngjae you coming?” Daehyun asks, by the door already.

Youngjae’s talking to Yongguk. “Go on ahead, Daehyun.”

Daehyun shrugs, Junhong watches. Daehyun sees him and smiles, waving. “I’ll see you around.” He says to Junhong and Junhong waves in return.

That’s pretty much how they talk to each other. Just a simple hellos and goodbyes. A little about the weather and the project they’re working on and then the others would join in. A two way conversation between the two is pretty much non-existent.

Junhong waits around, even after Jongup and Himchan left. Youngjae and Yongguk are discussing something.

“Here are the notes.” Youngjae hands Yongguk some papers he took out from his bag.

Yongguk reads them through. “Gee, thanks so much Youngjae. I still can’t believe I overslept and missed the class.”

“No problem.” Youngjae answers.

Junhong sees Yongguk smiling widely at Youngjae.

“Hey, coffee on me some time. Right now I have to rush for a test.” Yongguk pats his arm and walks away, nodding at Junhong on his way out.

Youngjae gathers his things in silence for a while. Junhong doesn’t think he knows he’s not alone in the room. When Youngjae turns it’s obvious that he’s surprised by Junhong’s presence because he almost jumped and it’s almost comical. Junhong doesn’t laugh or do anything though, he’s way too intimidated to do so.

“Sheesh, stop being a ghost.” Youngjae sighs, walking to the door and Junhong following immediately. “It really doesn’t help with you being pale and all, Junhong.” He says, not looking at the younger.

Junhong’s nervous. “I’m sorry.” He holds onto the strap of his backpack. “Um, Hyung, about the secret Santa?”

Youngjae stops in the hallway. “Yeah?” He looks at Junhong and raises an eyebrow.

“Who did you get?” Junhong asks, Youngjae resumes walking.

“Why do you want to know?”

Junhong hopes Youngjae is not finding him weird or irritating really. He just wants to be Daehyun’s secret Santa. He knows if he doesn’t work for it, nothing will ever happen between the two of them. It may be childish, and immature. But he’s there in the college, that exact college because Daehyun is there. Well, he also believes it’s destiny because he _did_ want to enrol in that college in the first place.

He has gone through years in school without Daehyun. It’s crazy, how much he thinks about Daehyun even though they knew each other only when they were so young. And how they never even kept in touch. Junhong’s belief in the magical truly has him believing that it must mean something. Him and Daehyun.

“I was thinking that, um,” Junhong doesn’t know what to say. Youngjae’s extremely close with Daehyun and Junhong’s wary of it. “I—I got Yongguk-hyung, and I don’t know what to buy him.”

Youngjae stops again. “Yeah? So?”

Junhong fumbles with his words. “I—I don’t know, maybe we can exchange?”

“How do you know I didn’t get your name?” Youngjae squints.

He turns red instantly. It’s the stupid disadvantage of being as pale as Junhong and he hates it. He only likes it when he can hide in the snow for a snowfight. “I—I didn’t peek, I swear I—”

“I got Daehyun.” Youngjae cuts him off, sighing. “Give it to me.” He holds out a hand. “I don’t want to buy a present for the bastard anyway.”

Junhong beams, quickly taking out the paper with Yongguk’s name on it and handing it to Youngjae. Youngjae searches for his in the pocket of his jacket and gives it to Junhong.

“Thanks.” Junhong mutters, looking at Jongup’s ugly handwriting of Daehyun’s name on the crumpled paper. _Jongup needs to improve his handwriting._

“No biggie.” Youngjae smiles slightly. He pats Junhong’s shoulder. “I have to get going now.” He says, walking away.

Junhong waves, and looks down at the paper again. He’s got Daehyun. He can now buy a present for Daehyun, for _Christmas—that’s amazing!—_ , and maybe he can tell Daehyun about his feelings. It has been years, he doesn’t know the particular reason but he just wants to _burst_ with confession. It’s a weird feeling of wanting Daehyun to know how much he likes him.

“Hey, Junhong!” Youngjae calls from the distance.

Junhong cranes his neck to look at the older.

“Do you want to go buy the presents together?”

Junhong swallows a lump in his throat. Just the two of them? Youngjae? Daehyun’s best friend? Daehyun’s inseparable best friend? The Repel™?

“Of course!”

 

 

 

 

Jongup is laughing at Junhong’s plan.

“A _confession_?” Jongup sips at his soda. “You really like him, it’s crazy.”

Junhong shrugs, feeling the colors rising to his cheeks.

“I mean, you got into this club to get close to him, and you guys barely talk!” Jongup almost slams down his cup. “Daehyun’s really friendly, Junhong, I don’t know why you’re so nervous to approach him.”

“It’s because I like him!” Junhong groans. “And this secret Santa thing is the reason for me to approach him, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know.” Jongup sighs. “And then just a confession out of the blue? You’re moving too fast.”

Junhong blinks, and frowns. “Is it too fast?”

“Yeah, to be honest. Look, I get that you really like him, it’s already creepy, but I know you well enough to know that you’re weird, but we don’t even know what Daehyun’s like. We know he’s single, but I don’t know if he has feelings for anyone. Junhong, I don’t want this first love of yours to hurt you on Christmas Eve when we are all supposed to be happy.”

Junhong thinks of Youngjae, leaning back in his seat. He crosses his arms over his chest. If Daehyun tells him he doesn’t feel the same way, Junhong knows he will get hurt. But the point of the confession is to tell Daehyun that he had feelings for the older, and not necessarily to get the older to like him back. Although that would be nice. And magical. Just like fairy tales. It’d be Junhong’s dream Christmas tale.

“He wouldn’t think I’m creepy, won’t he?”

Jongup chuckles. “You even exchanged the names with Youngjae.”

“Yeah but that’s normal compared to other things I did.”

“True.”

They sit in silence for a while.

“Do you know what to get him?”

Junhong blinks. “Oh, I haven’t thought of that.”

“What? You did all this and you don’t even know what to buy him as present?”

“What do you think he likes?”

“Hell, I don’t know. You should know, you like him.”

That is true. But all Junhong knows is that Daehyun likes food. He still likes it, but food as a Christmas present would be weird.

“Oh, Youngjae asked me if I wanted to go buy the presents together, and I said yes.”

“Wow, Choi Junhong, so much progress.”

Junhong smiles, a little proud. He thinks that shopping together would help them become closer. Rather than just getting close with Daehyun he thinks that getting close to everyone would be much better. He likes the group, they’re carefree and good friends.

 

 

 

 

“H-Hyung can you slow down?” Junhong’s bewildered, holding onto the seatbelt tightly and heart racing.

Youngjae’s driving is dangerous. He gets that they’re in a hurry, but Youngjae is risking both of their lives.

“Hang on,” Youngjae says, speeding through the yellow light and Junhong feels like dying.

It’s 24th December. It’s the only free time both of them have because of finals and also cramming for finals. What kind of a college delays the finals until Christmas anyway?

They arrived at the mall safely, but Junhong’s legs felt like jelly the moment he gets out of the car. He might puke if there weren’t many people around doing last minute Christmas shopping.

Youngjae isn’t so bad though. Junhong finds that him being intimidated by the other was what keeping the two of them from being closer sooner, but Youngjae’s really comfortable, it seems, looking through things to buy and asking for Junhong’s opinion. He makes jokes a lot, and Junhong thinks he’s really funny. No wonder Daehyun hangs out with Youngjae a lot.

“What are you gonna buy?” Youngjae asks, watching Junhong looking through some keychains.

“I don’t know.” Junhong shrugs. “You’re close with Daehyun, right? What do you think he will like?”

Youngjae shrugs too. “He likes everything. Maybe you should buy him food.”

“But that wouldn’t be memorable.” Junhong murmurs and Youngjae leans closer.

“Memorable?” Youngjae laughs a little. “It’s just Christmas, it happens every year it gets boring, hardly anything is memorable anymore, Junhong.”

Junhong looks at him, Youngjae is checking out the phone accessories. He doesn’t comment on the statement. _Santa wouldn’t be too happy to hear that_ , Junhong thinks. Besides, Youngjae doesn’t know he wants to confess tonight anyway.

They look through the phone cases on display, one caught Junhong’s eyes.

“Oh, that would be a practical gift.” Youngjae says.

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I think Daehyun would like it.”

Junhong beams, already picturing himself giving the present to Daehyun. And Daehyun with his phone always in his hands, with the case that Junhong gifted him. His heart skips a beat just at the thought. He smiles foolishly and Youngjae nudges him.

“Hey,” Youngjae squints and Junhong immediately covers up his smile, but he knows Youngjae caught it. And knowing that makes him blush. “You like Daehyun, don’t you?”

“What—no! He’s—He’s just, I mean, secret Santa.” Junhong shuts his mouth. He’s not making any sense.

Youngjae smiles slyly. “That’s why you went to me to exchange the names. Oh my god, you’re sneaky, Junhong.”

Junhong can’t seem to say anything. He’s always been bad at denying anything. When Jongup realized he was acting all weird about the joining club thing, he couldn’t even deny he had an ulterior motive.

“Hey, secret’s safe with me.” Youngjae chuckles. “But wow, you’re so obvious, aren’t you?”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Youngjae looks through the cases, pursing his lips.

“I’m planning on confessing.”

Youngjae quickly looks at him. His eyes widen. “What?”

Junhong immediately remembers that he’s talking to Daehyun’s closest friend and that’s probably the stupidest thing he can do now.

Youngjae laughs loudly.

Junhong is embarrassed.

“It’s already so weird that you like someone like Daehyun, but you’re even planning on confessing to him?”

He grows red. Jongup was right when he says Junhong is moving too fast. But too fast is _years_ to Junhong. Years of visiting the stationery shop that used to be Daehyun’s family’s restaurant.

“Is it weird?” Junhong’s fidgeting with his own sweater, palms clammy all of a sudden. “I just—I don’t know…”

Youngjae smiles at him. “No, no, oh god, I didn’t mean that. It’s just that Daehyun’s such a loser.” Youngjae laughs again. “But hey, I heard you guys knew each other before he moved to Seoul?”

Daehyun talks to Youngjae about Junhong?

Junhong nods.

“Were you guys close?”

Maybe Daehyun doesn’t talk about Junhong. Maybe it was just a casual mention over their many conversations.

“I’d like to think we were.” Junhong takes a black case, and looks at the drawing of a black panther on the back.

Daehyun didn’t miss going to Junhong whenever Junhong dined at the restaurant. Junhong had always anticipated that toothy smile, the loud laughter. He shared his food with Daehyun because he liked how Daehyun ate, he stuffed himself with all the food he could before even chewing. Junhong thought it was really cute.

Junhong’s parent didn’t even mind Daehyun, they were always happy to see the boy too.

“Our Junnie has a good friend now, huh?” His mother would say.

Sometimes Daehyun took him outside, and they played while Junhong’s parents stayed inside. They threw sticks and stones, ran around and Daehyun said once he was lonely and bored, with his parents working too hard for the restaurant. Junhong said he would come often, they can eat together and play together too.

Daehyun then asked him if he wanted to play with his toy truck. They were excited at the way the remote can control the truck from a distance.

“He moved to Seoul a long time ago, right?” Youngjae asks.

Junhong stares at the case in his hand. It reminds him of the black cat they played around with near the ice cream shop.

“Yeah. His parents went to do business in Seoul.” Junhong mutters.

“That must have really sucked.” Youngjae places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes.

It did. It sucked for so many years. Junhong doesn’t have many friends. Even when he was a child, he was an awkward kid, with weird hair. But Daehyun liked his hair and told him it was cool and wished he could have a similar hairstyle if only his parents would let him.

“He would like that.” Youngjae says instead.

“What?”

“That phone case you’re holding. I think he would like it.”

Junhong looks at the case, and then Youngjae. He really thinks he should buy it and get it over with especially since the rehearsal starts soon. And they need to hurry.

So he paid for it, and it’s wrapped prettily. Junhong holds the little box in his hands and feels a little lightheaded at the thought of giving it to Daehyun later.

“Now help me with my present.” Youngjae says, dragging Junhong away from the counter.

He starts looking at scarves. Trying them on and then trying another.

“You’re buying Yongguk-hyung a scarf?”

Youngjae nods. Then, looks at Junhong almost surprisedly. “Is that a bad gift idea?”

“No, no.” Junhong shakes his head.

“I think Yongguk-hyung would like dark colored ones.” Youngjae mutters, taking a dark blue scarf and trying it on. “It’s warm.” He says.

Junhong blinks. Youngjae’s smiling at the mirror in the shop. And Youngjae bought the scarf.

It’s silent when they drove back. Youngjae has props for the musical in the back of his car and they are making noises whenever Youngjae turns.

“Hey, what costume are you going to wear tonight?” Youngjae asks when they arrived, taking off his seatbelt.

Junhong feels himself sitting rigidly in the seat. “Costume?”

“Yeah, we’re going to wear costumes remember?”

Junhong shakes his head. He has forgotten all about costumes. He’s so absorbed in getting Daehyun a present he totally forgot about it.

“I guess I won’t be wearing any.” He mutters.

Youngjae sighs. “Hey, I was planning that. You can’t not wear a costume. That’s mine.”

“What?”

“I’m the normal kid of the group.” Youngjae chuckles.

And drags Junhong to his room.

Junhong whines. “I really don’t want to wear any costume. I don’t think it’s necessary, hyung—”

When Youngjae opens the door to his room Daehyun is lying there on his bed, looking at the two. Junhong swallows a lump in his throat.

“Oh, hey, Junhong.” Daehyun sits up on the bed, putting aside his notebook after tearing a page. “What brought you here?”

Youngjae walks in, putting down his things onto his own bed, and taking off his coat. “I brought him here to help him with his costume.”

“What are you going to wear?” Daehyun asks.

Junhong’s nervous. “I don’t know.”

Daehyun chuckles, and suddenly his phone rings. He answers immediately.

Youngjae pulls at Junhong’s arm, smiling. “Stop acting so awkward around him, he’s just another loser.” He whispers.

Junhong nods, he doesn’t know what to say. Maybe because he doesn’t think Daehyun is a loser at all.

“I have to go now,” Daehyun says, fetching his coat hanging at the back of the door. “Himchan needs some help with his car.”

Junhong nods, noticing the phone in Daehyun’s hand. Daehyun already has a phone case.

“Is that new?” Youngjae asks instead, noticing that Junhong was staring.

Daehyun raises his eyebrows as he puts on his coat. “This?” He lifts his phone and Junhong’s heart drops. “Yeah, I bought it when I went out to buy gifts for the secret Santa thing. Isn’t it awesome?”

He shows the back of his phone.

Junhong blinks almost confusedly, and in disbelief.

It’s the same case. The same case Junhong has bought for him earlier. The same black panther staring at him and it feels like the panther is sticking out its tongue.

What are the odds Daehyun bought the same case, on the same day?

“That’s…” Youngjae glances at Junhong. “it’s okay.” He shrugs nonchalantly.

Daehyun smiles widely, he looks handsome, Junhong thinks. He likes how warm Daehyun looks in his long coat with his brown hair.

“Alright, I’m leaving. See you later, Junhong.” Daehyun waves at them and hurriedly left.

“Whoa, what the fuck?” Youngjae immediately stands in front of Junhong, jaw dropped.

Junhong frowns.

“Did you give it to him when I wasn’t looking?” Youngjae sits on his bed.

“No, no.” He murmurs, lowering his head.

He sits on the chair by the desk. He doesn’t have a present to give now, he just realized it.

“Hey, hey, are you gonna cry?” Youngjae pulls at the chair and Junhong pouts. Youngjae reaches out to lower the seat before holding onto Junhong’s arms with both of his hands. “Oh, Junhong, no, don’t cry on me, I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Junhong clasps his hands together on his lap. “I don’t know, I feel kind of upset.”

Youngjae stares at him.

“I’m fine.” Junhong manages a smile. “It’s just that, it’s so weird. For him to have the same case.”

“Well, I’m sorry, Junhong. I guess we were a little too accurate at guessing his taste.”

Junhong chuckles.

“So,” Youngjae sighs slightly, looking around as if there was something there that could make the situation better. “I think we have this stuff from our previous Christmas project for your costume.” Youngjae walks to his closet and takes out a box. “I think you would fit some of the stuff.”

He sits in front of Junhong again, and starts rummaging through the things.

Junhong stares blankly as Youngjae takes out some things.

Youngjae looks at him. “Hey, you know, when you asked for the exchange for the secret Santa, it really made my day.”

“What?”

Youngjae sighs, putting aside the stuff and chews at his lips. “I wanted to be Yongguk’s secret Santa.”

Junhong blinks. He doesn’t understand.

“I wanted to be his secret Santa so I can give him a present.” Youngjae explains, and he seems almost embarrassed, it is quite rare for Youngjae to be embarrassed. “But then I got Daehyun, and I was so disappointed. Then, _you_ came along and asked for an exchange and for some reason you got Yongguk.”

He looks down at the floor.

“Look, I’ve liked Yongguk for so long.”

Junhong gasps, covering his mouth with his hands in surprise.

Youngjae laughs. “And I don’t know, I’ve never really done anything about it. But you, man, you seem like you’d do _anything_. And I always thought it was childish, to always try to make things happen. I guess I thought it was immature. It’s like you’re _forcing things to happen_. But then when we exchanged the names, I thought that maybe it was time to finally _make_ things happen.”

“It’s a Christmas miracle _this_ happens.” Junhong whispers.

Youngjae roars, laughing. “Oh, Junhong, you’re _adorable_.” He pats Junhong’s hands. “You made me realize that I can’t just sit back and wait for things to happen. I mean, years since we’ve been friends and nothing ever happened between me and Yongguk.”

“Why didn’t things happen?”

Youngjae shrugs. “He’s close with Himchan, and sometimes I get envious and everything. Look, I’ve never told anyone about this, not even Daehyun so keep it a secret.”

Junhong nods. “But why do you keep it a secret after all these years?”

“I thought it would be easier liking someone without anyone knowing about it.”

Youngjae takes a deep breath.

“But apparently it’s not.”

Junhong knows. He’s been away from Daehyun for so long. Those visits at the stationery shop. It’s hard liking someone when the person’s so far away and doesn’t know about it.

“Let’s get you dressed up.”

 

 

 

 

They’re late.

Youngjae had sent a text in the chat group to let them begin rehearsals without him and Junhong. They won’t be acting anyway, and they’re only in charge of props.

Daehyun sent a text telling them they’re missing Himchan rehearsing in his costume because it’s funny.

Junhong and Youngjae are still late though.

All because of Junhong trying to stop Youngjae from giving him ridiculous costumes and Youngjae who keeps adding more and more accessories for Junhong to wear. The final product that Junhong looked in the mirror had him almost screaming and he had to crouch in a corner while Youngjae laughed at him and told him that it was okay because he looked cute.

When he saw Junhong had tears in his eyes he panicked and started to tell the younger he really meant it.

“Daehyun will like it! I promise!”

It was that promise that has Junhong running with Youngjae through the hallway of the dorm. He has the box with Daehyun’s gift in one hand, another one clasped in Youngjae’s. He looks down at the paper bag Youngjae carries with him, the warm, blue scarf.

The rehearsal is still going on when they entered the hall. Daehyun’s singing his number on the stage, and Junhong’s steps stop immediately by the door.

He’s breathless. With the way the same boy who ran around outside of his family’s restaurant screaming, is now singing on the stage, smiling and happy. Passionate.

With his red bow tie, his striped, red and white sweater.

He’s a candy cane.

Of course he is, Junhong finds himself smiling as Youngjae leads him to the stage. Of course Daehyun would be something edible.

Yongguk sits in the front seat of the audience, tapping on his script with a pen as Jongup takes his part, and starts asking rhethorical question to the empty hall in his Rudolph poncho.

Youngjae and Junhong stares at Yongguk. And he looks up at the two, his bangs messy underneath the red hat he’s wearing, and his fake white beard pulled down to his chin. He did dress up as Santa. Even though only halfheartedly because his outfit is still his usual outfit saved for the hat and beard that Himchan probably forced on him.

“Sorry we’re late.” Youngjae says, putting his gift away. Junhong sees there are other gifts gathered there too. Paper bags and small boxes.

Yongguk’s eyes widen a little at Junhong, and there’s a small chuckle emanating from him before he waves a hand dismissively; he doesn’t like to talk when they’re rehearsing.

They sit, and Junhong looks down at his little box. He doesn’t know what he should do now. Daehyun has already had the same thing, and he’s left a giftless secret Santa.

The rehearsal is smooth, saved for a few times Daehyun and Himchan had to recheck their lines but it was good that Yongguk even claps when it ends.

“It was a weird run,” Yongguk says, “With all your costumes but it helps you refocus to not get distracted by your ridiculous costumes I guess.” He side eyes Himchan and Himchan crosses his arms together while they gather in a circle on the stage.

“I have the best costume here okay.” He pulls at the giant bow around his neck, his sweater green and pants red. “I am a _gift._ ”

The others laugh and Junhong notices Daehyun looking at him.

“Junhong, though,” Daehyun grins at him. “What are you?”

Junhong turns red, not knowing what to say as Youngjae pats his shoulder.

“He, is a beautiful Rudolph.” Youngjae takes out a round red nose from his pocket. The one he hasn’t been able to get Junhong to wear.

He makes Junhong take it, and aware of the other’s stare on him, and how his face is getting redder, Junhong puts it on his nose.

Daehyun laughs.

“Initially, I wanted him to be a christmas tree, so I made him wear this sweater we got from our last project…” Youngjae pulls at Junhong’s sleeve slightly.

The sweater’s colourful, red, yellow, and green. Youngjae wanted to put lights around him to make him a real Christmas tree and hang some ornaments and wrap the lights around him, but then they realized they would have to keep Junhong plugged to an outlet all the time.

When Junhong said it was probably enough to wear the sweater and have some accessories hanging onto him Youngjae came up with an even ridiculous idea and pushed a wig onto Junhong’s head.

“It’s going to make you look good, trust me.” Youngjae had said when Junhong whined, the older adjusting the white wig on Junhong’s head. Junhong, bewildered, could not even question why Youngjae had mascara and glitters in the box too, which he puts on for Junhong’s eyes.

To top it off, he took a headband with antlers that had bells hanging from it, and put it on Junhong’s head as a finishing touch.

The Junhong in the mirror, with white, bob haircut screamed. The bells on his head rang with every movement of his head. He couldn’t cry because the glitters under his eyes seemed like tears already.

The others laugh hard at Youngjae’s story, and Junhong laughs too, but only meekly because Daehyun is on the floor, with his hands clutched to his stomach.

“You’re not wearing any costume though, Youngjae.” Himchan points at Youngjae.

The other shrugs, and leans back on his hands. “I don’t have to.”

“Youngjae treats us all to meat!” Himchan almost screamed and Youngjae tries to protest as the others cheer and whoop before Yongguk hushes the group.

“We agreed Himchan to treat the winner didn’t we?” he says, snickering and Himchan manages a betrayed look towards Yongguk.

“Well if anyone should win best costume, it should be me!” Himchan huffs.

“Can we just get to the secret Santa part?” Jongup sighs and everyone took their gifts, checking on the bags and boxes for their names.

Junhong hides the small box inside his thankfully oversized sweater, as everyone took their gifts. He sees Daehyun looking around confusedly, searching for his own gift as everyone has theirs. Junhong pretends he’s not watching as he looks for his and sure enough there’s a small box with his name on it. He doesn’t know whose handwriting it is but he takes it and they sit in a circle on the stage.

“So, who wants to go first?” Himchan asks but before anyone can speak up he raises his hand, “I’ll go first!”

He looks over the rectangle box in his hand happily, and comments on the weight. They watch him with anticipation as he tears the wrapper open and it’s a bottle of wine. Everyone gasps at the expensive looking gift.

“This is secret Santa, not secret sugar daddy.” Himchan blurts which had everyone laughing.

“So who do you think your secret Santa is?” Daehyun asks Himchan, his own hands empty and Junhong feels the box he’s hiding under his clothes burning.

Himchan fakes a thinking face but he points at Yongguk with a grin. “The only person I can think of honestly.”

Yongguk merely laughs dismissively and Junhong notices Youngjae’s staring at the paper bag containing the blue scarf that Yongguk is holding.

“Well then, go on, your turn then Yongguk.”

Yongguk looks into the bag. “Someone didn’t bother to even wrap the present,” He comments and pulls out the scarf. “But just looking at it I already like it.”

Youngjae smiles to himself.

They urge Yongguk to wear it and Yongguk wraps it around his neck, smiling softly, looking warm.

“It’s warm, I love it.” He mutters, his fingers running against the material.

“So, your secret Santa is?” Himchan stares at him expectantly.

“Certainly not you,” Yongguk says while Himchan fakes a hurt expression. “I don’t know.” He shrugs, looking down at the scarf. “I really like it, thanks Santa.” He says, looking at everyone and clearly he really has no clue.

Youngjae averts his gaze, still smiling.

“That was a bad guess. Youngjae, your turn.”

Youngjae unwraps the small box in his hand, and it turns out to be a video game that was just released so he’s extremely surprised.

“Secret Santa thank you!” He exclaims, looking happy. And when he looks at all of them he looks like he have no idea who his secret Santa is too. “I honestly can’t think of who it is.”

Junhong catches Jongup’s eyes and they smile at each other.

“Jongup? Was it you?” Youngjae asks.

Jongup smiles quietly and Youngjae laughs, but he still doesn’t seem sure of his guess.

“My turn.” Jongup says, and starts tearing the wrapper of a box in his hand. When he opens it there’s a plushie of a Pokemon. “Himchan hyung, you shouldn’t have.”

They burst into laughter because it was Himchan and he couldn’t be more obvious with him grinning widely.

“Junhong, open your present.” Daehyun suddenly says, and Junhong raises his eyebrows.

“Oh, okay.” Junhong looks down at the small box when everyone waits for his turn. The box is light in his hand, he’s not sure what could be inside. When he unwraps it and takes the lid off the box, he’s surprised to see nothing in there.

“Is this some kind of a joke?” Himchan laughs slowly. “Come on secret Santa, that’s not funny. Don’t tell us it’s filled with love or something, that’s unacceptable.”

“Are you sure there’s nothing in there?” Yongguk asks.

Junhong looks down at the box filled with just colorful shredded fillers. But there’s really nothing.

He shrugs. Who is the secret Santa anyway?

“Daehyun-hyung, you don’t even have a gift.” Jongup points out.

Daehyun laughs awkwardly. “Yeah, I don’t know, I can’t find mine.” He shrugs.

“I thought we agreed on everyone doing secret Santa.” Himchan glares at them and everyone shakes their head.

Jongup catches Junhong’s eyes and when he raises his eyebrows Junhong shakes his head quickly.

“Junhong, are you Daehyun’s secret santa?” Himchan who caught the silent exchange asks.

Junhong turns to look at Youngjae for help but Youngjae didn’t know what to say.

“I—I, um,” With Daehyun looking at him expectantly he doesn’t know what to say. “I couldn’t find a suitable gift.”

“Any gift would do.” Yongguk smiles assuringly. “Daehyun would have accepted anything.”

“Yeah.” Daehyun agrees and Junhong doesn’t look at either of them.

“Okay then, you two settle it between yourselves.” Himchan says, realizing the atmosphere turned awkward the moment the Junhong opened the empty box.

He proceeds to open up the bottle of wine to share among themselves, and even when everyone’s laughing again Junhong still can’t stop thinking about how the stupid phone case he bought was the same one as the one Daehyun bought himself. Things would have gone smoothly if it hasn’t been ruined like that.

The small party among the six ends a little after midnight. And as they tidy up the place and the props, Junhong tries to be alone as he checks on the props storage.

He’s upset, cause he’s pretty sure Daehyun’s upset that he didn’t get a gift. His eyes sting and Youngjae probably got glitters in his eyes. He feels like crying cause his eyes are watering now. Junhong ruined the tradition that is Christmas. Will Santa ever forgive him? He finds himself thinking. Maybe he should write a letter to apologize. He remembers his parents said they know Santa’s address and maybe they can send the letter for him.

“Junhong?”

Junhong turns to find Daehyun approaching him. His body went rigid, not knowing what to do.

“Hey, you wanna talk outside?”

“Is it the gift? I—I promise, I’ll buy you one—”

Daehyun laughs, “No, I have something to tell you. Come with me.” He takes Junhong’s hand and lead the younger out of the hall. The sky is snowing outside.

When he turns to face Junhong he has a sheepish smile and Junhong’s confused.

“That empty box?” He says, and Junhong takes out the small empty box out of his bag. “I am your secret Santa.”

Junhong gasps, and takes the lid off. “I—I don’t understand…”

Daehyun chuckles and pointed at the box. “There’s a little letter there if you move the fillers around. Must have gotten, uh, buried underneath when it rolled around in my bag…”

Junhong’s dumbfounded and sure enough, there’s a small letter that he didn’t notice earlier.

Daehyun urges him to open the letter and Junhong does, almost fumbling with the box and letter. When he opens up the letter his eyes go wide and he stares at Daehyun like an idiot he is.

“Hyung,” He manages to say, in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Daehyun shrugs. “I didn’t even want to buy you a gift.” He explains and laughs a little. “So I want to take you out on a date instead.”

And his face turns red. Junhong isn’t sure what is happening. Daehyun’s shifting from one foot to another, looking unsure of himself.

“Gosh, I actually planned to do this in front of everyone I can’t believe I listened to Jongup.” — _Jongup?_ — “It’s already nerve wracking just the two of us.”

Junhong blinks, he looks down at the letter again.

_Will you go on a Christmas date with me?_

“Of course.” He whispers.

Daehyun stares at him.

“Of course!” Junhong says, louder.

Daehyun grins, happy.

“A—and I—about your gift…” he takes out the box he has been hiding. “I have it here with me, actually.”

He hands it to Daehyun nervously. Daehyun seems confused and he slowly unwraps the paper around the box. Junhong swallows a lump in his throat as he watches Daehyun taking out the phone case.

Daehyun laughs almost in awe. “It’s the same as my new one.” He says. He looks at Junhong. “Is that why you didn’t want to give it to me?”

Junhong nods almost guiltily.

The older laughs again, the same laugh Junhong has remembered for all the years they were away from each other.

Daehyun takes his phone out, taking off his case to replace it with Junhong’s gift. “There, Merry Christmas to me.”

He shows it to Junhong, the black panther almost smiling at the younger.

“Give me your phone,” Daehyun says and Junhong takes it out confusedly.

Daehyun reaches for it, and quickly puts on his case on Junhong’s phone. “And Merry Christmas to you.” He smiles when he hands it back. “We both have our gifts now.”

Junhong stares at his phone, his mouth open. That was a smart solution and he’s amazed.

But he looks at Daehyun almost surprisedly, and he’s suddenly worried. It has Daehyun blinking concernedly at him.

“If this is my gift—does that mean we’re not going on that date anymore?”

Daehyun’s silent as he stares at Junhong, before bursting into loud laughter. “Junhong! Oh, Junhong, no, no, I mean yes, we’re still going on that date!”

Junhong wonders why Daehyun is laughing so loudly. Truthfully he had truly been anxious.

He smiles instead. “That’s good because I really like you.”

The words are out before Junhong even realizes it and he turns beet red as they both turn silent. Junhong covers his face with his hands, and with all the things he is holding he’s covering his face with the box, the letter, his phone.

Daehyun holds his hands and his hands are warm as he pulls them away from Junhong’s blushing face.

“Hey, I like you too.” Daehyun murmurs, staring at Junhong with that mole still under his eye.

“If this is a Christmas miracle I hope it does not last for Christmas only.” Junhong mumbles.

Daehyun laughs at that, and his expression turns earnest when he takes a deep breath. “The date’s still happening, Christmas, or not.” Daehyun says, and Junhong forgot how accepting he has always been of Junhong’s quirkiness since they were children. He doesn’t find it weird at all. “We’ll make it up, for all the years.”

Junhong nods enthusiastically. Does this mean Daehyun misses him as much as he has missed Daehyun?

“I’ve missed you.” Daehyun smiles.

And leans in to peck Junhong on the lips. Junhong’s couldn’t even close his eyes, he only stares at Daehyun dumbfoundedly and Daehyun chuckles.

“I’m sorry.” The older whispers. “I didn’t mean to take you by surprise.”

Junhong shakes his head. “I like it. I mean, my first kiss, I have been saving—I mean it’s my first kiss! Oh god—” His lips are like soft warm marshmallows and Junhong loves soft warm marshmallows.

“Oh my god, it was?” Daehyun covers his mouth with a hand. “Shit, Junhong I didn’t know—”

“It’s the best thing ever!” Junhong almost exclaims and they stare at each other with amazement, the snow falling all around them.

He covers his mouth with both of his hands, —again, with the letter and phone and all—and his eyes widen, shimmer, he can almost cry glitters.

“Get a room!” Someone shouts from behind and they both turn to see Himchan and the others. They’re already getting ready to leave for the night.

Daehyun groans. “Shut up, Himchan hyung!”

Himchan laughs, and waves at them as he walks with Jongup.

Junhong catches Jongup’s stare on him and Jongup winks.

“Fairy godmother,” Junhong whispers.

“What?”

Junhong blinks and shakes his head at Daehyun. “Nothing, nothing.”

Daehyun sighs, a happy one. “So, you wanna walk back together?”

Junhong looks down at the hand he’s offering. He quickly puts his things away and holds Daehyun’s hand. His heart is racing.

“Where do you wanna go for our date?” Daehyun asks as they walk, leaving footsteps on the snow.

Junhong’s mind is blank. “I—I don’t know.” He’s too preoccupied at the fact that they’re walking hand in hand under the snowing sky.

“Should we just, I don’t know, have cheesecake somewhere? I know a good place.” Daehyun says hopefully. “Maybe then you might think of something you want to do together already.”

This is something Junhong has thought about a lot, in his daydreams. He digs around in his mind, and yes, Junhong has always thought about where they should go if they ever go on a date, so he answers unhesitatingly, “The amusement park. We can ride big rides without remote controls.”

Daehyun laughs and nods. “Okay then, amusement park it is then.” He looks down at their feet. “I’m scared of big rides though.”

Before Junhong can say anything he looks at Junhong again and smiles assuringly.

“But I don’t mind getting scared with you.”

Junhong nods. He’s scared too but he heard people who get scared together will like each other more, or something like that. So he’s looking forward to it.

“Was Youngjae Yongguk’s secret Santa?” Daehyun suddenly asks and when Junhong looks up ahead, sure enough, there are Youngjae and Yongguk walking together.

“It’s really warm.” They can hear Yongguk saying.

“Yeah, suits you too.” Youngjae mutters, reaching up to fix the scarf on Yongguk and Yongguk lets him.

They walk to Youngjae’s car together, laughing at something and chatting.

“We’re all on Santa’s nice list.” Junhong says.

Daehyun looks at him amusedly. “Why’s that?”

Junhong shrugs. “Good things have just been happening for us this Christmas, it seems.”

The older raises their intertwined hands, and smiles at Junhong.

He has that mole under one eye that Junhong remembers well.

“You have no idea how many Christmases have to pass for this one good thing.”

“Twelve Christmases, I counted.”

“Twelve Christmases,” The older hums, thinking and it’s apparent how he’s frowning at the thought of so many lost years. Junhong thinks it’s a shame too, but they’re there now, holding hands. “Another twelve, and more Christmases that I want to spend with you then.” Daehyun grins and Junhong’s heart leaped.

“Thank you, Santa.” He whispers.

“What’s that?”

“I said I really like you, Daehyun-hyung.”

“I like you too.”

Junhong will never get tired of hearing that, and saying it.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas, everyone. And stay warm. x


End file.
